Grief, Belief, Relief

January 2, 1988 was a monumental day in this gal's life. Three signficant events happened within hours of each other. You see, I experienced grief, belief, and relief on this day.

My daddy, Don, died on this day after battling a long illness. He had severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. When he was diagnosed with this disease there were very few medications that had been approved by the FDA, however, there were medications that simply needed an actual human with the disease. My dad decided to try these medications because if he didn't, the Dr.'s guaranteed him that he would be in a wheelchair by the age of 41. Daddy was in his early 30's when he found out that he might be wheelchair bound for the rest of his life. He wasn't willing to do that. So . . .he fought and fought and finally when all the effects of the experimental drugs took a toll on his body, he died at 52. He held on through the holidays and waited for my Sis to get here from Alaska and then he closed his eyes. He's my hero.

GRIEF

I was 19 and decided to quit college and come home and live with the boyfriend that I was certain loved me so much. Against my parents wishes, I did and my life quickly started a spiral downward. The boyfriend turned out to be my worst nightmare, an abusive monster. It became such a difficult situation for my family and for myself.

You know, I wish I could tell you why and how I allowed myself to stay in an abusive nightmare . . .but I can't. Anyway, my Dad passed around 2:00am and my Sis came to my door with a police escort to tell me. I told her I would be home in the morning. That set into motion a chain of events that would set me free. This decision was the last straw for my boyfriend. I remember all of this like it was yesterday. When all was said and done, I remember looking at the clock as I sat on the end of the bed, it was 7:00am. I said to myself, "God, if you are there, and you love me, will you please send someone to help me?" I looked over and realized that the phones were unplugged, I jumped up and ran across the room to plug it in and it rang. You know . . . I don't think I had it plugged in before it rang. Wow!

BELIEF

I answered the phone quickly and my brother-n-law (whose been in my life since I was 6), David said, "Paula, do you need me to come get you?" Yes was all I said. He was there in 20 minutes, all 6'5", 220 pounds. He's my hero.

RELIEF

This isn't a sad post, really. These events have made me the person I am today. My Daddy is whole and in the presence of the Savior. Through time and experiences, I accepted that very Savior for my own . . . the One who heard my cry that day and said, "You don't know it yet, but I am real and I am mighty and I do love you and I have great plans for you!

My final hero has taught me these last 18 years that I don't have to be afraid, I am a strong person, I do have value to add, and I am deeply loved. He's my hero.

That being said, I am looking forward to 2009. I have alot of work to do! My Lord has great plans for me and I've been slackin'!

Blessings~
P.